Vallaura's Blog

"Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted."

Archive for March 2010

What you can do with your singleness…

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A couple of day before, I received an email from one of my girl best friends. She was in stress because she is longing to be with her Life Partner and build a family of her own.

Two days ago, I read a tweet posted by one of my girl friends, saying that she has a miserable life because nobody is missing her (romantically).

Yesterday, I got a short text message from my other girl best friend, telling me, in essence, she is dreaming to have a wealthy husband.

Being one of them, I cannot feel anything but the striving longing feeling of a life partner. However, I am currently melancholy in other way. For short, I am not really thinking about this at the moment. I mean, I think about it, but…thinking and worrying about it will never make me any better. You can be happy without being with someone. The key is contentment. Am I content with my life? No. I cried a lot. But, I always put this in my mind, hoping that someday, I can be content. So, for people like us, I just wanna share what I do on my singleness, that is, simply being single. (Check out my FB photos for the complete trip and story)

Written by Vallaura

March 28, 2010 at 1:51 AM

His Mind, Her Mind

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His Mind, Her Mind (My version)

For those of you who don’t know me yet, I’ll let you know, I am twisted person, mostly with a twisted mind. In most parts, I let the mind wandering around until it meets its true identity and definition. Some actually find their rests. Some evaporate. Some turn into talks. This one is about the talk.

I was actually restless, in term of mind not physic, at that time when an invisible person showed up. He’s a man of manner that he greeted me before he started to talk (or write). So, along our talks, I tried to weigh my trust to him, and scale how valuable his opinion is that I might consider his thought to give some definition to my mind. While thinking, he popped out a quite personal question. And for a man who dares to ask me how many serious relationship I ever had, I think he deserves some writing..well, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words… πŸ™‚

The question is simple. Is it really true that when a man decided to be friend with a woman. He will never see this woman differently, as a lover, for example? For his additional information, I explained to him that I had this friend of mine talked with a guy that I used to love (or like?). He said that whenever he sees this woman as a friend. Then, it will stay that way for the rest of the journey. The friendship will never change into relationship. Radically, if you fell in love your male best friend, in essence he said that you betrayed that friendship. Is it true, hey guys?

To my surprise, this friend that I was chatting with encountered my idea. He said defensively (if I may say). Didn’t girls do that? Didn’t all girls who are being friends with men, will never consider their male friends in a romantic relationship? Well… that shut my mouth up. I never prepare myself for this kinda response. So, plainly, I asked: Really? Did we, girls, do that? Enthusiastically, he shared (maybe out of his personal experience, eh? ;p), yes, whenever a girl is being friend with a male friend, and this male friend tells her that he loves or likes her, the girl will say that she has no intention whatsoever in having relationship more than being friends to each other. Ouch, I typed. I sure hope that words didn’t come out of personal experiences. hehe… Unable to explain, out of lack in experiences, I tried to distract him by asking other question. Clever me, eh?

Then I asked. Won’t you consider it as a betrayal of friendship? You know, being in love with your own best friend? And he answered. Wouldn’t be easier that way? A man will be much happier if she’s his best friend. In a local idiom, we called it as “Sambil menyelam minum air” or in English…errr… (anyone can help me on this?) Then he continued, well, as long as he likes or loves her of course. But if he didn’t. He will only say, what you said earlier, that he doesn’t have any intention whatsoever in having relationship more that friends. Addressing it as a betrayal of relationship is too much. You are exaggerating it.

Okay, so the score is 1-1. One for saying it No. The other one for saying it Yes. And this talk is not getting my mind calmer, instead it makes my mind goes wilder. And I guessed, I had successfully made him confused. If he can get confused (but I know you are not confused). So we ended our talk with a simple statement which we weren’t sure whether it’s the answer or the pause. That is, whether you are his friend, his stranger, or his neighbor…those things aren’t counted. What counted is whether he likes or loves you or not. Simple.

Hmmffthh…so much for a long talk. Well, do any of you want to change the score? Share your thoughts, and enrich us please… πŸ™‚

Written by Vallaura

March 22, 2010 at 10:09 PM

Posted in Me, People, Thoughts

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A glimpse of my hometown

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The Old Church

It all started when my friend canceled our appointment due to some tests that she has to run. Stressful than ever, I browse the internet to find any close place that I can visit that can make me a bit relax. So I bumped into this blog, and I was loving it.

So I went to try to remember how to get to those places in my neighborhood. The first place that I visited is the old church in Jalan Pemuda, Depok Lama. Some of my friends are actually regular attendances of this church, but I had never visit this church. It was quite nice, but unfortunately not so big as I thought it will be. You can check all pictures of today’s journey on my facebook photos. Then I tried to visit the old cemetery at Jalan Kamboja. It was really interested me, but I cannot find any secure place to park my motorcycle. I actually tried to call my friend whose house is around, but apparently they are not home at the moment 😦 So I just continued my ride to the old bridge of Panus. I still can remember when this very bridge is used..oh, those good ol’ days.

Lastly, I decided to find Studio Alam TVRI. I went to a high school near it, so it should have been easy for me. And, yes, I found it. People said that it was the first conservation area in Indonesia. Sadly, it is only used for TV shooting. Not really taken care of by the worker. I guess Hutan Djuanda in Bandung is much much better. Anyway, it was a very extraordinary day. A good distraction from my every day lives, even though I end up shopping at Milenia, eating at Pizza hut and of course watching movie..hehe…

How’s your weekend? Hope you enjoy it! ^^

Written by Vallaura

March 21, 2010 at 4:03 AM


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Listen to this song, here

This is an Indonesian song that I currently like. The title “bohong” is an Indonesian word for “lie”. Shortly, the song describe a man who was left by his girlfriend. To free his girlfriend from guilty feeling, he lied to her. He told her that he can understand why she left him, and it was okay for him to be left like this. That he shared his joyful tears for her (check out my TEARS).

But in some parts of this song, he helplessly told her that if he could, he actually want to prevent her from leaving him. That he might lost his mind without her presence, simply because he is too in love with her. How every day, he adores her, worships her and spoils her. He admitted that he built dreams with her and all of those dreams are now gone. Gone, when he realized that she was gone…

Why do I like this song? Well, I am a very melancholic person. I felt the emotion in this song, and so I like it. But I really hope and pray that this story never happen to me…

Oh well, one can only wish…

Project Pop

“dengarlah sayangku. janganlah kau bersedih lagi. aku bisa mengerti mengapa. kau memilih tuk tinggalkanku. dan pergi dengannya.

jujurmu padaku. sudah cukup bukti padaku. kini ku bisa cari pacar. yang sudah antri menungguku. sedari dulu.

sesungguhnya hatiku. ingin menahanmu. kamu jangan pergi. kamu jangan pergi. sesungguhnya jiwaku bisa gila
jika hidup tanpamu. aku terlalu mencintaimu.

pergilah sayangku. janganlah menoleh padaku. aku hanya menangis bahagia. ku tak mau kau melihat air. mataku.

tidakkah kau sadari. dari hari ke hari. ku memujamu, memanjakanmu. dengan sepenuh hati. tetapi yang terjadi
hancurlah mimpi-mimpi. ku dapati dirimu tlah pergi.

aku terlalu mencintaimu. aku terlalu mencintaimu. aku terlalu mencintaimu.”

Some love are indeed too much to be kept.

Written by Vallaura

March 20, 2010 at 12:37 AM

Posted in quotes, song

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Tears are words from the heart that cant be spoken #WLQ

Some tears are generated from a heart full of wrath. Have you ever experience it? When sometime push your button. Just with a soft touch, you are filled with anger that you don’t know whether you can control it or not. I had this kinda tears just now. A text message pushed my button. Your head became so light that you cannot feel it. What you can sense was just words of curse and disappointment. They were on my lips. That’s the reason, why I shut my mouth when I got angry. You will see the words clearly, you will want to say them aloud. You know exactly that saying them will release some anger and at the same time hit you back with guilty and shame. I didn’t say it. But I am not proud of it. Why? Because I was shaking..and I was waiting until it will come out out of control. And all those unspoken words transformed and rolled down on my cheeks. Lucky me, a friend of mine buzzed me up. To him, I told everything with typed words, and it calmed me down. If you read this, thanks! You are really one of a kind.

Laughing Out Loud

Another tears came from a joyful heart. Mine are usually generated when I was having some crazy time with friends. I can remember clearly, when me and my friend went to some places and laugh a lot that we burst into joyful tears. Once, I laughed about espresso with my friend, Fany. Was it because her name rhyme with funny that made the espresso so funny. hehe…I was literally Laughing My Ass Off…haha..oh, I will never forget those moments. πŸ˜€ you can check the photos here

Other tears born out of sadness and sorrow. Yup, they came out of broken hearts. Most of my tears are this kinda type. And it’s not easy to remember, as it is not easy to let them go by. But I still can recall how I rolled on my bed trying to overcome the hollowness of my soul. The aching pain that burnt heart made me numb. Nothing came out, nothing said, only tears…filled the two holes of heart, the eyes. I guessed it was an extraordinary feeling. You know, being in love and hurt. A tweet that I follow said RT @worldlifequotes: Dear brain, I know he’s all u think about but I think we need to move on #WLQ. Oh well, one can only wish…

Whatever your tears were or are…remember, they made us feel alive.

Written by Vallaura

March 19, 2010 at 8:29 PM

Posted in Me, Thoughts

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Movie Log

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Last night, I read my friend’s movie log and it was very provoking me so I made my own. Yes, this is not authentic. Why should it be? Don’t everybody else in other parts of the world do the same πŸ˜‰
–warning! spoilers ahead–

Up in The Air

1. Up in The Air, Thursday, March 11, 2010, FX XXI
I watched this movie with Ria and Tri. This was my first time watching movie at FX XXI. It was a nice theater and we got the best seats. Not to mention the price that i have to pay for the ticket and pop corn πŸ˜‰ As usual, I didn’t know what the movie was about. All I knew that George Clooney was the leading actor. Not much expectation, since I didn’t hear or read any recommendation of this movie. I guessed I cannot sympathized a lot with the movie for I am a non-traveler person. However, boring the movie was, I was attached on Clooney’s lines when he was delivering speech about a backpack. There’s just a truth in his lines. And that’s made the movie worth to watch.

Ryan Bingham: How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life… you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV… the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home… I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office… and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.

Alice in Wonderland 2010

2. Alice in Wonderland (3D), Friday, March 12, 2010, PS XXI
Well, my friend canceled our movie appointment yesterday. So, having been waiting to watch this movie for way too long, I decided to watch it by myself. My favorite theater is one place that I directly thought about. Luckily, I also got the best seat. Alice is not a new movie. So, I already knew where the story is going and how it will end. Johnny Depp as the leading actor is definitely the charm of the movie. Regretfully, I have to admit that the 3D effect was not as charming as Avatar. There were no breath-taking scenes. Even though it presented a sight of fight. I cannot say it was disappointing. It was just not THAT breath-taking πŸ™‚

Green Zone

3. Green Zone, Saturday, March 13, 2010, Planet Hollywood KC 21
After a long-back-and-forth-talks, we finally agreed to watch this movie at PH KC 21. We as in, me, Diana, Mely, Tri and Elisa. It was great time, i must say. Watching movie together with friends πŸ™‚ The movie itself was a bit so-so kinda type. I guessed it was because we watched Bourne the trilogy that we expected that this movie will somehow turn up like one of the trilogy. And sadly, it didn’t. There was no strong idea that can make me attached to the story. Thankfully, the ticket was quite affordable and I watched it with friends. So, i didn’t feel so disappointed. Do better Matt!

4. Shutter Island, Tuesday, March 16, 2010, PIM 2 XXI
It didn’t plan to watch any movie actually. But my friend, initiative accompanied me to buy the ticket. haha…so i end up watching it alone. The theater is classy, cozy and very very comfortable. I love it instantly. That was not my first time, but I didn’t remember that the theater was that great! Moreover, the movie itself was brilliant. Well, you can read my previous post about it (I’m not gonna repeat again in here). Leonardo Dicaprio did a quite job here. Thumbs up for you.

From all four movies, I think the last one is the best πŸ™‚ If you haven’t watch it, please do. Enjoy your movie time!

Written by Vallaura

March 18, 2010 at 4:43 AM

Shutter Island

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Shutter Island

The Others

“You know, this place makes me wonder. Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?”

As a twisted person with a twisted mind, I think that the twist of Shutter Island (2010-Leonardo Dicaprio) is not as twisted as the twist of The Others (2001-Nicole Kidman). They are somehow similar, that is why I have the hunch of this twist before the movie really reveal the twist. But I have to say that it was a nice try. I know that it’s not easy to make something so bewildering like that.

I quoted Teddy Daniels last line from the movie, because I think it was what the movie really want to present. Out of the sanity showed in the movie, Andrew Laeddis was and is the one who really owns sanity. That is when he chooses to die as a good man rather to live as a monster.

We too should try to make such decision, to die as a good man rather to live as a monster.


Written by Vallaura

March 17, 2010 at 7:41 AM


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I never thought that I would finally bought any of those Crocs, super expensive rubber, shoes and slippers. Yet right now, I have two pairs of them. πŸ˜‰ My first two pairs. Thanks to my friends.

Crocs on sale!

Few days ago, my FRIEND, one of Crocs hugest fans let me know that there will be Crocs big sale in one of Jakarta famous malls, Senayan City. I lazily answered her without any enthusiasm. Flashes of those expensive shoes made me lack of enthusiasm. It turned out that they had free pass tickets, and they were willing to share one for me. Unable to let them down, gladly I forced myself to meet them there. I showed up a bit late for some reasons, and I got confused on everything.

Yes, It was on 8th fl. hall, the sale. Yet the queue had started from the 5th fl. Being not familiar with the mall, I got confused on how to get to the 8th fl. without queuing. So I called a FRIEND of mine who often work there. He was really a helpful man, indeed. Through his directions, I found a very secluded lift and a way to get to 6th fl to meet up my friend’s boyfriend who got my free pass ticket. Happily I went to the free pass entrance.

To my surprise, there was this huge tattooed man calling me off. He asked politely, where am I going. Plainly I answered that I am going to the ..err.. 8th fl? He then asked me, where I was from. Confused even more (whether I should answer Depok or GIS or Pondok Indah) I decided to finally LOOK at the free pass, and read what were written on it…and hesitate-ly I answered him with four-letter words, H-S-B-C? He stared at me and told me that the free pass was no longer valid unless i have some HSBC ID card. I went getting my cell phone calling my friend’s boyfriend to consult about this. Happily, he answered and helped me. He found out that the free pass is valid until 6PM, all I need to say that a man named HANSEN had confirmed about this.

So this time, being more prepared, I confidently tried again to enter the free pass gate. Yiye! The tattooed man was gone, or I thought he mean, he was sitting and watching me, when his friend took my free pass ticket and stamped my hand. He asked him to ask me to show something sounded like Id carrrd or somethin’ …I cannot hear them clearly, I was like running upstairs showed no care for what they were arguing. santa cruz women - plain blue (w9)

Relieved, I met my one of my friends there. She helped me to handle my shocked when I looked at THOSE CROCS. Gee, those are expensive shoes for crying out loud. How could they were scattered like second handed items? After calming my self down, I finally able to choose the best two pairs that I like best. They are Plain Blue Santa Cruz (W9) and Capri Canvas Black Printing (W8).

Frankly speaking, I was hesitate to buy these shoes. They were STILL in my definition of expensive. As I tried to look here and there, I asked my friend next to me the regular price of this Santa Cruz I was holding. She said plainly 750.000 IDR. WHAT??!! That was a jaw down info. I stared in her eyes. THAT MUCH? Trying desperately to sound a bit with dignity. She just nodded and walked away looking to other pairs.

Capri Canvas Black Printed (W8)

Sigh. Realizing that there were million of people queueing from the 5th fl just to buy this pair of shoes, I sheepishly decided to take this one home. And to later on found another pair to company the first pair. I kept on telling myself. No more shopping for the next two months. yelp! yeah right… πŸ˜€

Anyway…thanks for all my friends who make this happen. without you, there will never be 70% Crocs for me! πŸ™‚

Written by Vallaura

March 15, 2010 at 6:08 PM

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. What will you do if you love a man and he does not love you back?
: What will you do if you try to forget the man you love, but somehow, you just can’t let him out of your mind?
:. What will you do if the man you love asked you to be his friend, his sister?
:: What will you do if he ask for your blessings for his big day?
::. How would say, if you have the chance to whisper in his ears at his big days?

Answers: mine
. I never choose to love him. Love chose me to love him. So, I will just respect his feeling and respect my feeling.
: I will just try to survive living with it. It’s not an ideal state, but hey, I never choose to be in this state. Let me be…like I let it be..
:. As it’s easier to get an enemy than a friend, so I will definitely said yes. Having an additional brother always come in handy.
:: It’s better to bless than to curse. I bless you, brother.
::. The last Q. Let the answers be his and mine solely.

Now, it’s your turn.
What are your answer to the questions above?
I pray that if you are strong enough you will finally experience that Cinta tidak harus memiliki, but if you are not, I sincerely hope that you can have a wonderful love story far from the bitterness of the four letter word, L-O-V-E.

Enjoy the LOVE, whatever it looks like.

Written by Vallaura

March 8, 2010 at 1:28 PM

Posted in Thoughts

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MRT experience

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//on my very short period between piled works//

I am not really the perfect person to write about MRT Experience, since I only took it while my very short visit to Singapore last November.

Our first sight was right after we finished everything with the airport people. We headed down to the MRT subway station. But prior to it, I met another short version of MRT that linked terminal 1 to terminal 2 at the airport. I am not sure whether they called MRT. I think they named it shuttle train. But they looked like one. oh well, you’ll meet them when you visit Singapore.

So, at the lower level of Changi International Airport, there it was the MRT station. My friend, Leony, lent me her E-ZY Link card. I topped up the credit for S$10, and entered the gate to wait for the train. The gate operated similar to Transjakarta gate. You just need to tap the card to the card reader on the gate, then you can freely enter the waiting lobby. The waiting room is spacious and clean. The lighting is not very bright but enough to see people clearly. There’s announcement board showing us the minutes of the next train and when the train is going to approach the station.

The MRT was full with passengers. They are simply similar with AC Ekonomi train in Jakarta area. What made them a bit different was the fact that most of the subway station stood beneath malls. So when you go up out of the station, you will most likely end up inside malls around Singapore. Sometimes I think it is nice. I don’t have to walk to get into the mall. But some other time, it is frustrating. I don’t like malls THAT much, really.

So, I wasn’t that impressed by MRT. We can have this kinda mass mode of transportation in Jakarta. I am pretty sure, the number of people of the country impact a lot. So, it will surely took some time for our country to apply this kinda mode. But gradually, we can have this in our beloved country.

My role, as an educator in this program is creating a discipline young people, so they can follow the rules well. πŸ˜‰ hehe..

Written by Vallaura

March 8, 2010 at 4:55 AM

Posted in Object

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