Vallaura's Blog

"Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted."

Almost 30!

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wow. time really pass by, don’t they? and I am not sure that I have used all my time wisely. most likely I have not. or certainly I must have not.

I actually don’t realize that I am almost 30. Just now, a thought flash on my mind, made me finally  admit that I can never be “be yourself”. And as I think about it, then, I realize that I am almost 30. My mind travels through time as I remember the time where people keep on shouting on my ears to “be yourself”, my teenage years. Now, I am bewildered! We cannot be ourselves. Even now, when I am approaching 30, I cannot be myself how can I be myself when I was 2 decades younger?

If I ever myself, I would…


….like what I always do at quiet beaches. let the energy flows to the top of my lung that my voice can reach the peak of my ever reached decibels. and let the tension leave.


and not coke. or a boring sweet tea. but I just cannot, right? even when you read this, some of you would frown. dude, why do you need to frown? do drinking beer make me less a wo(man) than you?


I am not talking about office and school of course, I am talking about general society. Yet wearing shorts considered as something in-approapriate. aduh. how self center you are, that because you fail to guard your mind, I cannot enjoy the freedom of putting on my favorite casual clothes. Not everyone that you see wearing something that showing off some tan is trying to seduce you. please.


or people. yeah, I am doing it right now. So, can you imagine If I were myself. What kind of person I am. exactly. Bitch.

Those are five first things that I would do if I ever be myself. Thankfully, this almost 3 decade of living teaches me to NOT be myself. funny how life goes, huh? things that we hold in our childhood, teens, and even in our early adulthood all seem contradictory with life.

well… I might not have spend my days wisely, fully regret that, but at least before I reach 30, I know that to live peacefully we have to be peace with life as it is. And that the truth about life cannot be found in any of our school textbooks or years of experiences, it can only be found in daily walk with the Giver of life.

Now, come as you may, 30. I am ready.

Written by Vallaura

October 28, 2011 at 10:44 PM

Posted in Me, Thoughts

Tagged with , , ,

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