Why God is not enough?

I have my dreams come true.

Get a scholarship and able to study master in education in one of the happiest countries in the world, Denmark.

Before I arrived there, I went on a European tour all paid by my sister where for the first time I saw the snow, there, on the top of Europe, Switzerland.

Darn. I went to France, Switzerland, Netherland, Belgium, Germany and Denmark and all paid by my sister.

God is taking care of me.

Even before I travelled to Europe, God introduced me with fellow Indonesian students who introduce me to a landlady in Copenhagen where now I am living.

My brother lent me his money, large amount of money.

My JICF family looked for and informed me of the whereabouts of Christian community in Copenhagen.

God is taking care of me.

 

I get plugged in to an international Christian community of FIBC Copenhagen in the first weeks I arrive here.

I have fellow Indonesian students community, church community, Indonesian au-pair community, Indonesian living in Copenhagen community, my fellow classmates, and my Danish course classmates.

I know a lot of people in a very short amount of time living here and these people are taking care of me.

Well, God is taking care of me.

 

On the first months I arrived here, my scholarship tax was settled. I got reduction of tax.

I got my first job as a cleaner, a pretty good pay, a hundred kroner an hour, where I work for 3hours a week.

I got my second job as a student helper in the university.

People are giving me their extra clothes and jackets.

People are inviting me for lunch, dinner, shopping in loppemarked and all.

God is really taking care of me.

 

But at nights, when I lie on my bed, right before I rest my mind, I have to tell my self over and over again that I have enough, of everything.

I don’t have everything, but I have enough of everything.

But on those nights, where I remind myself about this, I know, that deep inside, I don’t feel enough, that God is not enough for me.

The fact that I am reminding my self about this, confirms it.

 

Why can’t I feel enough?

I asked myself tonight, tired of telling myself that I have enough.

Why can’t I stop asking and asking and asking and asking?

When is it, I will smile and say, enough of giving me these things?

God help me.

Why You are not enough?