Don’t trust your dream

…like I never do, except for last night.

It was an unusual sunny day in Copenhagen, last Saturday. I went to second hand shop “loppemarked” in Frederiksberg in the morning and felt drained and exhausted. Stuffing my new owned clothes and cosmetics, I cyckled to my part time job together with my friend. And we decided to have BBQ at Island Brygge after finishing my work. It was such an enjoyable day, but we ended the day almost dried of over heating. Then… I got the dream.

This is the I-dont-know-how-many-time I am having dreams in my sleep. So, in this dream, someone called Winndie rang the bell to my apartment. When I opened my room’s door (I have my own separate door), she showed me this baby boy to me, it’s a cheeky-white-around 3months- old baby boy, saying this is your baby boy that you thought you’d lost. The dream continued to a flashback of the time that I thought I had lost my baby boy. Then, I woke up.

It was around 4-5am and raining. My mind spiralled trying to make sense of what I just saw vividly in my dream. I told my self positively, ah, getting a baby was known to be a good dream of a possibility getting a new resposibility, perhaps getting a new job. Something that I’m looking forward to. So, I woke up, checking my phone and started fuctioning in life positevely. Until… I went down to where I parked my bike and found it’s gone.

Fuck. I lost my bike.

I tried to rewind all my memories after I came back from BBQ the other day, when I was so full, over heated and tired, the memory of where exactly I parked my bike and whether I locked it right.

Shit. I could not remember it.

I walked around the parking area twice and it really dawned me. I had lost my bike. The fact that I need to spend money to buy a new one. And that the dream must have meant this, and not that I’ll get a job. And that now, I have to walk (not bike) to church and that I would be definitelt late (I calculate biking time not walking time). I got so stressed and sad.

Sigh. Never trust any of your dreams. It hurts to know they mean the opposite. I spent the day today shamefully. I cried. cursed God. blamed people. said bad words. was ungrateful. and all other possible sins that secure my place in hell.

Sigh. This is life. It defeats me today.