Dec #23

Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little… Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little…

I thank God for tears. They are what make us humans. Well, dogs cry too… And dogs are humans’ bestfriends. Tears show that we are not only bone and flesh but also feelings and soul. They are the most purest, rawest and sharpest emotions when they are true. I cried today because I was out of words to describe this hole in my heart. I was tempted to ask, “what have I done wrong?” but instead I shut my mouth and let my eyes asked the same question. Of course, eyes could not say a word. They could only glisten and drop some tears. But still, I thank God.

It’s one of those days

When I feel like someone has just died.

I wish I can buy her bread and make her coffee. And have morning prayer where she will share her deep insights of God. I wish I can start the day, any day, with her encouraging smile. And when even she might call me to rebuke or warn me during the day, she would at the end of the day, give another smile that feels like a pat on my back for doing my best that day.

I wish I can have those days back.

But now, it feels like she is gone so far that it feels like she has died in my life. And all I can do is just cry knowing that those days are long gone. And that l am crying over nothingness.

I feel like someone has just died.