Love is you.

You are truly someone to love even though you are not someone who love back.

Thank you for moments that took my breath away, I will miss you. I know, I will…

The world of fairy tale that once I can see through you brings me to a realization that indeed love is enchanting, mystical and simply… beautiful.

And love is you.

I’ll remember where the love was found.

There are times in life that nothing stays in your head but songs. 

There are moments in life that nothing can go out from your mouth but songs.

There are phases in life that nothing resides in heart but songs.

There are occasions in life that nothing remains in soul but songs.

There are seasons… everything is nothing… but songs.

Will you marry me?

Dudu got married with a German!
I never knew her well, but we were doing ministry together back then when we were still in college. She is not a conservative type, you can tell. But I never guess she would marry foreigner. Her face book status rose questions in my head. Alas! I am just a human, I think more of negative side than positive. I know nothing about her husband yet I think that he is not a true Christian. Ah, forgive me Lord for I’m sinful with my prejudice. Anyway, It dragged my attention, on how one should find her love. One of the ways, maybe perhaps by having holiday in Bali. hahaha… 😀 nice try Len! (I know you only find excuses to got there ;p)

Inge got married with a Catholic!!
A perfect woman. Born in a well family, went to one of the best college in Jakarta and went to another degree in England. To top it up, through scholarship!! She is a posh. And she is a very truly devoted Christian. Last Friday, she got married with a Catholic. We never doubted her choice. But It tickled me… perhaps I should open my heart to Catholic people as well? After all, they do believe with their heart and confess with the mouth that Jesus is the risen savior. How about it?

Sondang got married with a man!!!
Yes, with a man. She once said to me (or to us?) who questioned her relationship with this man, simply… “As long as he is a man and he wants me to be his wife. Then it’s okay for me.” BIG GULP! Hearing her sentences, I directly condemn her as a non believer. Woe you Lenti! Who are you to judge! Well, she practiced lustful dates with her previous boyfriend. So when she was forced to get a husband (get? as in, man is jar of pickles that you can get in the nearest circle K, huh?) … It was no surprised with her reasons. This is the furthest I can go. But, I can’t help wondering and asking to myself. Are you ready being forever single then married with less Christian guy. After all, Sondang and her husband are Christian by ID.

To top these all, I met Ika and her husband and her 7 months old baby and I also met Kak Motik with her husband and Yung-yung and Ting-ting. Seeing them my heart was punching and beating. It kept telling me find boyfriend-get married-have babies-build family-be prosper…. over and over again.

I looked in the mirror and asked myself. When will be our turn? Meet someone who loves us, fight for us, respect us, ask us to get married, build family together, have babies and be prosper. [people would definitely agree if I ended this piece with saying “And while we wait, let us be a precious person worth to fight for.] But, hey this is my blog, I want to end it with a word or two.

When, Lord?

His Mind, Her Mind

His Mind, Her Mind (My version)

For those of you who don’t know me yet, I’ll let you know, I am twisted person, mostly with a twisted mind. In most parts, I let the mind wandering around until it meets its true identity and definition. Some actually find their rests. Some evaporate. Some turn into talks. This one is about the talk.

I was actually restless, in term of mind not physic, at that time when an invisible person showed up. He’s a man of manner that he greeted me before he started to talk (or write). So, along our talks, I tried to weigh my trust to him, and scale how valuable his opinion is that I might consider his thought to give some definition to my mind. While thinking, he popped out a quite personal question. And for a man who dares to ask me how many serious relationship I ever had, I think he deserves some writing..well, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words… 🙂

The question is simple. Is it really true that when a man decided to be friend with a woman. He will never see this woman differently, as a lover, for example? For his additional information, I explained to him that I had this friend of mine talked with a guy that I used to love (or like?). He said that whenever he sees this woman as a friend. Then, it will stay that way for the rest of the journey. The friendship will never change into relationship. Radically, if you fell in love your male best friend, in essence he said that you betrayed that friendship. Is it true, hey guys?

To my surprise, this friend that I was chatting with encountered my idea. He said defensively (if I may say). Didn’t girls do that? Didn’t all girls who are being friends with men, will never consider their male friends in a romantic relationship? Well… that shut my mouth up. I never prepare myself for this kinda response. So, plainly, I asked: Really? Did we, girls, do that? Enthusiastically, he shared (maybe out of his personal experience, eh? ;p), yes, whenever a girl is being friend with a male friend, and this male friend tells her that he loves or likes her, the girl will say that she has no intention whatsoever in having relationship more than being friends to each other. Ouch, I typed. I sure hope that words didn’t come out of personal experiences. hehe… Unable to explain, out of lack in experiences, I tried to distract him by asking other question. Clever me, eh?

Then I asked. Won’t you consider it as a betrayal of friendship? You know, being in love with your own best friend? And he answered. Wouldn’t be easier that way? A man will be much happier if she’s his best friend. In a local idiom, we called it as “Sambil menyelam minum air” or in English…errr… (anyone can help me on this?) Then he continued, well, as long as he likes or loves her of course. But if he didn’t. He will only say, what you said earlier, that he doesn’t have any intention whatsoever in having relationship more that friends. Addressing it as a betrayal of relationship is too much. You are exaggerating it.

Okay, so the score is 1-1. One for saying it No. The other one for saying it Yes. And this talk is not getting my mind calmer, instead it makes my mind goes wilder. And I guessed, I had successfully made him confused. If he can get confused (but I know you are not confused). So we ended our talk with a simple statement which we weren’t sure whether it’s the answer or the pause. That is, whether you are his friend, his stranger, or his neighbor…those things aren’t counted. What counted is whether he likes or loves you or not. Simple.

Hmmffthh…so much for a long talk. Well, do any of you want to change the score? Share your thoughts, and enrich us please… 🙂