Vallaura's Blog

"Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted."

Posts Tagged ‘marriage

RE: I refuse to refuse anyone

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I  was reading I refuse to refuse anyone, a blogpost by J.S. Park when I remembered my conversation with my at-that-time new friend in Berlin. She shot me point blank by saying ‘you are christian, of course, you do not accept the idea of LGBT community’. And I spent a whole 45 minutes trying to explain to her what my view is. That was my first open conversation about LGBT community outside Indonesian community or christian community, in a language that is not my mother tongue.

The short reading made me re-question my view about LGBT community and I am confident to say the same Truth that I still hold tight until now, that:

  1. God did not create LGBT community. If He did, The Bible would have recorded it.
  2. Jesus died for everyone who is in LGBT community. The Bible says He died for us all.

What’s the different of me and you with everyone else in the LGBT community? Nothing. He did not create us for what we are as well. But Jesus died for us anyway. If someone then asked me, can a gay person be a pastor? Then I would ask back, can a thief be a pastor? Or can an adulterer be a pastor? Or can a sinful person be a pastor?

But I am still struggling to answer another question, which is, can a gay couple get married in a church?

I know church is for sinful people. Like a hospital is for the sick and not the healthy, hence church is for sinful people and not holy people. I know all is welcome.


Church is also a community that (try to) observe the Holy Bible. And marriage sacrament is arranged carefully by the Bible how it should be and for who it should be. I dont think that church should marry any guy couple. And I think it’s not against human’s right.

I am a very sinful person. But if I asked a church to marry me with a man, who is my husband-to-be, I am pretty sure they wouldnt mind. What makes me any different with a gay person? I might be even more sinful than any gay person in this world. And just because… I am allowed and he is not. I do not understand, yet.

My question goes back to the gay couple who is asking to be married in a church. Why would you want to be blessed from people who dont want to do it for you in the first place? Is it also just because you need the legal status of marriage, even though the term marriage hold by the church is different with the one you hold?

Everything is still vague. But until it is clear for me, I refuse to refuse anyone. And to judge others.

Will you marry me?

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Dudu got married with a German!
I never knew her well, but we were doing ministry together back then when we were still in college. She is not a conservative type, you can tell. But I never guess she would marry foreigner. Her face book status rose questions in my head. Alas! I am just a human, I think more of negative side than positive. I know nothing about her husband yet I think that he is not a true Christian. Ah, forgive me Lord for I’m sinful with my prejudice. Anyway, It dragged my attention, on how one should find her love. One of the ways, maybe perhaps by having holiday in Bali. hahaha… 😀 nice try Len! (I know you only find excuses to got there ;p)

Inge got married with a Catholic!!
A perfect woman. Born in a well family, went to one of the best college in Jakarta and went to another degree in England. To top it up, through scholarship!! She is a posh. And she is a very truly devoted Christian. Last Friday, she got married with a Catholic. We never doubted her choice. But It tickled me… perhaps I should open my heart to Catholic people as well? After all, they do believe with their heart and confess with the mouth that Jesus is the risen savior. How about it?

Sondang got married with a man!!!
Yes, with a man. She once said to me (or to us?) who questioned her relationship with this man, simply… “As long as he is a man and he wants me to be his wife. Then it’s okay for me.” BIG GULP! Hearing her sentences, I directly condemn her as a non believer. Woe you Lenti! Who are you to judge! Well, she practiced lustful dates with her previous boyfriend. So when she was forced to get a husband (get? as in, man is jar of pickles that you can get in the nearest circle K, huh?) … It was no surprised with her reasons. This is the furthest I can go. But, I can’t help wondering and asking to myself. Are you ready being forever single then married with less Christian guy. After all, Sondang and her husband are Christian by ID.

To top these all, I met Ika and her husband and her 7 months old baby and I also met Kak Motik with her husband and Yung-yung and Ting-ting. Seeing them my heart was punching and beating. It kept telling me find boyfriend-get married-have babies-build family-be prosper…. over and over again.

I looked in the mirror and asked myself. When will be our turn? Meet someone who loves us, fight for us, respect us, ask us to get married, build family together, have babies and be prosper. [people would definitely agree if I ended this piece with saying “And while we wait, let us be a precious person worth to fight for.] But, hey this is my blog, I want to end it with a word or two.

When, Lord?

Written by Vallaura

May 29, 2010 at 11:12 PM

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